Jackson vs. Patmon

This is the mayoral election in my city and guess who will win....



Frank Jackson!

He really has no contest and who the hell is Patmon so...Jackson already won!

Ohio Election Issues (Part III)

This is the last one and these two compete against each other. Here's what they are....

Issue 5

Both these issues want to have a reformed government and have things like they should and not someone to stand guard. Here's what I have to say....

NO!

Unless if we and the government should be unemployed...vote YES!

Issue 6

This issue balances the government by having just more than one party in the County. Good, because Democrats may be for the poor...but they take advantage of the poor. What's worse...taking the poor for granted or taking advantage of them? This is why I say...

YES!

I might say NO to both since politics suck anyhow. Hey Obama...where the fuck is my change?!

Ohio Election Issues (Part II)

The next two issues that Ohio has are about Casinos and Tri-C....

Issue 3

This is about Casinos. This issue revolves around casinos and other states want to try and annex Ohio for their states. (Cleveland, part of Pennsylvania)? 34K jobs, 34K more for police, fire, and hospitals (since they say that Casinos would cause this chaos) and here's what I have to say...

YES!

I voted YES twice and it didn't pass, but this time...it will. If not...I'm moving to the Sun Belt.

Issue 4

This is for Tri-C and since I went to school there...and probably by next year...I will say one thing....

YES!

It's my Alma Mater...that's why.

Ohio Election Issues (Part I)

This year, I will be voting like almost every year. I won't be voting on 2011 since there's no mayors, presidents, or governors. But here are the issues and why I'll vote for or against them....

Issue 1

This issue is for Ohio Veterans who fought in many wars from WWII to Iraq and Afghanistan. These vets are citizens and here's what I have to say....

YES!

These people are fighters and they need respect.

Issue 2

This issue is for Ohio Farms and many of them are in shambles. Here's what I have to say....

YES!

Free-range has a much better taste than a windowless barn. And many people die from the preservatives in the food than in the food itself.

Should I go back to College or not?

Since my job's a joke, I'm broke, and my love life's beyond salvageable...I ask...should I go back to Tri-C or transfer to CSU?

I am a Scrub

The TLC song that became a hit song 10 years ago goes like this....

A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly and is
also known as a buster
always talkin' about what he wants
and just sits on his broke ass
so (no)
I don't want your number
no I don't wanna give you mine
and no I don't wanna meet you nowhere
no I don't want none of your time and no
Chorus:
I don't want no scrub
a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out the passenger side
of his best friend's ride
trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out the passenger side
of his best friend's ride
trying to holler at me
But a scrub's checkin' me
but his game is kinda weak
and i know that he cannot approach me
cuz I'm lookin' like class and he's looking like trash
can't get wit' a deadbeat ass
So (no)
I don't want your number
no I don't wanna give you mine
and no I don't wanna meet you nowhere
no I don't want none of your time (so no)
Chorus
If you don't have a car and you're walking
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
If you live at home wit' your momma
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
If you have a shorty but you don't show love
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
Wanna get with me with no money
oh no I don't want no scrub
No scrub
No scrub
No No
No scrub
No no no no
No no
Chorus (until fade)

The words in bold are what I am....

I have no car...I have to ride the bus like everyone else,
I live with my parents, I try to look good but I'm just white trash,
So yes I'm a scrub. :(

What boils my blood

One-Party Elections.

Next Tuesday is Election Day and the two runners for mayor are...Democrat.

What the hell is this, a Communist City? We might as well get rid of every Republican or Third Party runner so we can just have Democrat-only in our city.

God Bless America!

goatse.cx

The name seems like 'goat sex' and the opening is some ugly naked guy streching his own butt and I ask...why?

That really seems to hurt and why would you want to show your anus? Are you going to poop or something? No one wants to see that!

Double-Feature for Halloween (Ages 13+)

Once my children get older, the films that they will be watching on Halloween Weekend will be for the older flavor.

There will still be the finger sandwiches, popcorn, and chocolate, but Willy Wonka will be seen at a later time. Instead I will show the haunting directions of Dan Aykroyd called "Nothing but Trouble"....

I will show the movie at 7 p.m. (9 p.m. when they become 18) and at 8:30 p.m. they will get to see the cult films of cult films..."Rocky Horror Picture Show"!...

I may even do this on Halloween since they may feel Trick-or-Treating is for kids...but you really can't outgrow a movie!

Double-Feature for Halloween (Ages 0-13)

If I ever have children, or even if my siblings have children, I will have a night on Halloween Weekend where I will show them a Double-Feature Film. And since candy is a thing for Halloween, why not...A Willy Wonka Double Feature?

I'll make finger sandwiches (egg, chicken, ham, and tuna), popcorn, and mini-candies (mostly chocolate). At 5 p.m., they will be watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"....

At...probably around 7ish, I'll put in the other Willy Wonka flick that I think is better, and that's "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"....

Now this will be a tradition for my children...until they become 13....

KKK and Nazis

The Ku Klux Klan was formed in 1865 as being a Supremacist WASP Organization. THeir targets were Blacks, Carpetbaggers, and Yankees. They would last until 1870, but the second wave would come in 1915 with "Birth of a Nation".

Ironically, when the Klan was big in the 20's, a Supremacist Organization called The National Socialist Party came to form. This party would even have their own nation, unlike KKK which only had Indiana.

Now we have American Nazis who are part of the Neo-Nazis and like the KKK...they hate.

Wendy's

I think Wendy's is the best fast-food burger joint in the nation. Unlike McDonalds they give you a fresh refrigerated pack of beef. And unlike Burger King they don't nuke their burgers.

Don't get me wrong, but McDonalds is 2nd in my opinion since they serve some good things.

I just don't like Burger King. Sure, they're flame-broiled, but I always get that aftertaste and their mascot is too damn creepy.

Celebrity Jeopardy

These SNL skits are probably the best skits on SNL. I would just watch them forever if I could.

They were aired between 1996 and 2002. There would be two more in 2005 and 2009 when Will Ferrel would host SNL, since he played Alex Trebek.

It was originated by Norm MacDonald who would impersonate Burt Reynolds (and apparently he changed his name to Turd Furgeson). But it was Darryl Hammond's impersonation of Sean Connery that would steal the show. (Even though in the 2nd and 3rd sketches, Hammond was Donahue and Travolta, respectfully).

I hope one day, when I have a late-night show, I would do something similar to that sketch.

Autumn

I like fall weather. So you won't be able to swim nor skate on the lake, but you get to see the foliage of the leaves and walk on them or even jump into a pile of leaves.

I may be an autumn person since I like this season as much as I do summer, but then again maybe not.

Halloween

Why do we celebrate Halloween?

Sure, it may be fun when your a kid, but unlike Christmas you can actually outgrow this holiday. Well, some people outgrew Mickey Mouse cartoons...like me, but can't seem to outgrow Donald Duck cartoons (Maybe because DD's cartoons use slapstick like Tom and Jerry, but unlike Tom and Jerry, Donald Duck's like Tom and he faces more than one Jerry, even 2000 Jerries)!

When I was a child, Halloween was the only time that I could eat candy and we would Trick-or-Treat. Now I would just watch my two favorite Halloween movies "Nothing But Trouble" and "Rocky Horror". Because if I'm not at a party, I would be tricking and since I don't trick, why bother getting the treats?

What boils my blood

Toilet paper out by the back.

I like it when the toilet paper is up front because I can get to it easily, I feel that it's annoying when it's by the back. Why do people do that?

I'm a Guinea Pig Person

There are people who are dog people, they love their dogs. I like my dog...but sometimes he could get to me.

There are people who are cat people, they love their cats. I like my cat...but since I'm housitting for my grandma's, I just can't stand grandma's cat!

I am a guinea pig person. I love my guinea pigs, sometimes they would be feisty, but I love them anyhow.

Black Sheep

In every family, there a black sheep.

Sometimes he's a trouble maker, but sometimes he's the different one. I am the latter since I have autism, live at home, don't have a car, etc.

It sucks being the black sheep.

Monopoly at McDonalds

This month comes the Monopoly at McDonald's games. I enjoy playing these games...but it seems so difficult to win.

I play this game every year and it seems so hard to play this game.

The Harpsichord

In the 20th Century, there was a revival of the harpsichord. How did this happen? We'll never know, but I can tell you a few songs that have the harpsichord....

Beatles-"Fixing a Hole", "Piggies"
Beach Boys-"When I Grow Up To Be A Man", "You Still Believe In Me", "I Just Wasn't Made for these times", "Caroline, No"
Four Tops-"Bernadette"
Smoky Robinson-"Tears of a Clown"
Supremes-"Love is Here and Now you're gone"
Donovan-"Sunshine Superman", "Bert's Blues"
Simon and Garfunkle-"Scarborough Fair"
Bee Gees-"Turn of the Century"
Linda Ronstadt-"Different Drum"
Jimi Hendrix-"Burning of the Midnight Lamp"
Procol Harum-"In Held 'Twas In I:Look to your Soul"
Moody Blues-"Cities"
Elton John-"I need you to turn to", "Skyline Pigeon"

I can go on forever with this....

Things I don't like

Political Correctness.

Now there is some things that are intolerable, such as the Ku Klux Klan and Nazism, but leave everyone alone?! Bullshit!

We're supposed to live like a Utopian Society and live in harmony with no God since God corrupts us.

This is America and Being PC is the thing, you can't call an African-American 'black' or something...because that's wrong! You can't use 'negro' because it sounds like...yeah.

Has Political Correctness fucked with our lives?

Christopher Columbus...Legend or Meanie?

Nowadays, Columbus Day is considered Columbus Day. And now the Liberals are telling our children that Columbus is a meanie who killed the Indians.

This is wrong! If Columbus did kill the Indians...it was by accident because they never knew the diseases that Columbus had, nor many of the people who were with Columbus. Smallpox was a plauge that no one knew about and today, the Liberals are teaching our children hate!

I don't believe this!

Garfield...Minus Garfield

We all like or love Garfield, but what's this...? Where's Garfield?!

Garfield isn't there! The comic was made by an Irish guy named Dan Walsh. It seems that many of these strips would become popular since it shows how Jon Arbuckle would be without Garfield. As a lonely suburban man who's very depressed.

Almost like me....

Columbus Day or Discoverers Day?

Lately, in Cleveland, many people have been calling Columbus Day Discoverers Day since Columbus didn't discover America.

Wrong! Columbus discovered what would soon be America and found out that it was inhabited with Natives. Also, this would be the beginning of the race toward America.

What boils my blood

My parents 'borrowing' money from me.

Children borrow money from their parents, but since times are hard...it's the opposite. My parents have been borrowing money from me this year, making this the worst year ever!

I have a job, but it doesn't pay well. I might as well throw my checks away since they're worthless. They owe me $3500 and I'll see that money when Cleveland wins a Championship.

And if they ask again...I'm just going to say..."Here, take all my money! Take it all! You'll be asking for more and never pay me back again!"

God is not there!

I pray to God to get me out of this mess, but it seems that he's not listening to me.

Well fine! I've decided to leave God...forever! There is no God, for he has died!

My future is dull, I'll never leave my parents house, I'll never get my money back, I'll never get a better job, and I'll never have a girl! God hates me...so I hate him!

5 Worst Years I've ever had....

I could make it 10, I could add 2004, 1998, and 1992 because My mom left, nothing happened, and my grandma died, respectfully...

But here's who made it....

(5)2002-This could be off the list...and soon if 2010 is bad. But this made me want to boycott children since the 2nd Quarter I had four kids who come to my church stay for two months...the youngest stayed one month longer. I felt like Bender in "I Second That Emotion".

(4)2006-I said goodbye to most things. Love, dead end job, and happiness. Yes, most of that year was nothing but sadness and I was only happy when something good happened...and that was the year where my neighbors across the street moved in.

(3)1997-Or as I call it...POOP! Because in the Celebrity Jeopardy Sketch from SNL, Alex Trebek asked the contestants to write the year and the release date of this sketch is 1997. Donahue was diarreha of the pen, Burt Reynolds didn't write anything, and Marlon Brando wrote...'POOP'. And my year was that...one speed on the VCR, a summer that had nothing, and I was going to be Home Schooled.

(2)2007-Death, Break-up, and unemployment lurks in what I call Hell...which is 2007. I had the blues and wound-up in the Hospital, My grandfather died, and the bitch who was to be my brother's bride decided to leave him...while being a fiance! What?! You can't do that! What made it get out of the worst is...I was in a play by my ex-cousin and December was a light at the end of the tunnel...but not really.

Now the Worst Year Ever Goes To...

(1)2009!-A year that was good as dead before it started. Where tightening the belt was not enough, where you get a Drivers License...and have no car, a job...but losing money even when living with your parents, and getting taken advantage by everyone. Even God has turned behind me and my future is dark!

2009...the worst year ever!

I can't seem to pray

Right now, I'm in a position in my life where it's hard for me to pray.

I feel that God has put me down and he isn't there. I feel that God has cursed me rather than Bless me and I have no strength to pray.

Just as the words of Jesus "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me"?

Banned Book

Many books are banned throughout the world. Some wern't meant maliciously, others were.

Why a book is banned or challenged....

Sex-The Joy of Sex was challenged because of (what else)? Sex!

Violence-I know why the Caged Bird Sings is one of them.

Language-The Catcher in the Rye and if this was ever a movie...it would be Rated R!

Blasphemy-The Satanic Verses is one of those books.

Prejudice-Gone With The Wind has been challenged many times, and if you see the movie...just watch the scene where Scarlett yells at Prissy.

Nudity-In the Night Kitchen has been challenged because you see Mickey's (gasp)! Ding-a-Ling! (Why can't you just use a fig leaf)?

And the Bible has probably all the above (Never boil a young sheep in its mother's milk? I think that's why Jews don't eat cheeseburgers)!

What boils my blood

Today's blood boil is...Cleveland!

Why did Cleveland have to exist? Our weather sucks, our economy sucks, and our sports teams suck. I would (insert an Angry Video Game Nerd quote here) than watch a Browns Game!

And what's worse...I can't move! I have family here and I can't drive! Now you know why I call myself Cleveland!

What boils my blood

Here's another thing that boils my blood...the phone rings while you're in the bathroom!

Whether you're taking a shower or shit, the damn phone has to ring. When I have a cell phone, sometimes the phone rings and I have to answer it because they're always important calls!

It's bad enough being Cinderella in life, but I can't even take a shit without someone calling me!